I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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