is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
