she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize