so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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