If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is the high leading the old right now
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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