I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
