Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
