real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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