We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
