yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
