I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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