it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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