Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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