if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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