Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
