No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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