I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
