A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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