I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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