i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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