Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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