somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
there is glitter all over my balls
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