my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
