The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize