did you get engaged???
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
