Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
