I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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