i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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