Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
