shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
