Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
did you just send me my own nude
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
