Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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