I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
