Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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