My underwear smells like fireworks.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
