Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
