Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize