You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think i have two assholes
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
