clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
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great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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