So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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