The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You don't make any sense
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