Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
