i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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