I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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