I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
