Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
