Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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