so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
