Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
