you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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