"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
