stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
