He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize