I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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