I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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