Having a random hookup so left but love u
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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