my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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