just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I can't put those talents on a resume
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
