I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
