glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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