feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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