just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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