I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent