sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
