So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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